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Cookies & Scotch for Poppop

4/27/2014

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It dawned on me last night just how much I am like my Poppop. I never fully realized it until, in the hours after his passing, I sat there with my family just wishing it were me and him. I could always sit with Poppop in silence, not a trait that comes easily to anyone else in my loud family. I always admired how, amidst the mayhem of story-telling and opinions flying like pigs, Poppop could just sit there and listen. And when he did have something to share, it was immensely important.

Poppop was a genius, the kind that let his instincts dictate his work, as opposed to having an exclusively intellectual drive. What I mean by that is that he knew what needed to be done, and he did it. It was the only way he knew how to raise 10 kids. He worked his ass off.

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The truth is that I, like my Poppop, was working hard to get through it all. I never knew what a drive I had until this last day of a long work stretch, when I wanted to just push through it and pretend everything was okay. I’m so glad I reprioritized my life once I really understood the plight of his condition.

I sat by his side at 1am on Saturday, sharing his sentiment: a desire for silence. I held his hand and cried by his side, hoping that in some weird way he could hear what I was saying to him in my head. The room spun and I needed him to myself. Finally, after about 45 minutes of not knowing how to ask for such time, my mom suggested to my 8 aunts and uncles that I be left alone with my granddad.

I told him I wished we could have gone running together, and that I would miss him terribly. After my father passed away, when I was 5, I would spend hours at a time by his side in his home office, just writing on notepads and wishing that someday I could be a businessman like him. I shared his passion for words and languages, beautiful penmanship and art, and a palate for ethnic food like no one I’ve ever known. I, too, am gentle until I’m crotchity, feel certain that I always know best, and have a hard time giving compliments. I get these things from my Poppop. I will always cherish these beloved traits that both endear and deter those around me.
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After hours of eating and drinking wine with the family, last night, I retreated to the back bedroom and proceeded to allow myself to cry. I’ve always been a sympathy cryer, but this was a moment I needed alone. Finally, my mom came and held me. She, too, understood the weight of his loss, her father. We both knew it was time for us to leave.

I said all of my goodbyes, being careful to lag behind my mother so that I could complete one final task. If there’s something my grandfather taught me, his Hannah Banana, it’s to enjoy a good scotch. I quickly reached into his liquor cabinet, and stole his last set of Brandy mini-bottles, and the drop of Dewars that remained.

Today I made these cookies to commemorate my dear Poppop. And enjoyed a sip of VSOP in his honor.

To Poppop, with love.

Hannah Banana

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Soft-baked Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 Cup + 2 tbsp White Whole Wheat Flour
1/4 Cup Oats
1/2 Tsp Baking Soda
1/2 Tsp Salt
1/4 Cup Coconut Oil, melted
3/4 Cup Coconut Palm Sugar
1 very ripe Banana
1 1/2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Cup Vegan Chocolate Chips

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Combine flour, oats, and baking soda in a bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, mash banana with oil and sugar. Add salt and vanilla extract.
4. Pour wet ingredients into dry, and stir until just combined. Add chocolate chips and stir.
5. Drop by heaping teaspoon onto a baking stone. Bake each batch for 8 minutes. Allow to cool for 1 minute before removing from pan.

Enjoy, with a loud "mmmmmm" just like Poppop did. Follow with a sip of scotch on the rocks.
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A Delayed New Take on Pumpkin: Pudding! 

12/17/2013

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Sometimes when life gives me lemons, I opt to make pumpkin pudding instead. Especially on days like today, when I’ve been in solitary confinement in my apartment, determined to not get any sicker than I already am. I’ve been cranky. Whiney. I don’t wanna! I do wanna! Not feeling well brings out all of my rebellion. I fight back real hard, ya’ll. Like I said- by making pudding! I know you’re shaking in your boots as I type.
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I was gifted some lemons and ginger yesterday when it dawned on me that getting into real-people clothes and driving myself to the store simply was not an option. I’ve boiled the water for tea 3 times now, which means I’ve washed my tiny perfect pot 3 times as well. Alternating between boiling the water and using it to reheat my lentil-sweet-potato concoction is getting old. 3 times, folks. I’m not talking about a dishwashing spree, but I am talking about mindless and rote kitchen action.

All of that is to say that by noon today, I had to make something with a little more love behind it. I wanted something sweet but energizing. Compound that with the fact that I’ve had this recipe in my arsenal since before it was in its holiday seasonal prime, and voilah! What better time than cooped-up now?!

This recipe also embodies my mood in some other subtly rebellious ways. See, I’m one of those people who doesn’t want pumpkin in my pie or in my latte. I don’t hate pumpkin, and I never crave it. So this year I bought a can of it just to see if I could change my own mind. Additionally, I don’t want my protein in smoothie form. I love the taste of smoothies, but I can never quite figure out when is the right time to drink them such that they won’t hurt my stomach. Combine these seemingly dissonant factoids, and I think I’ve created the perfect alternative for weirdos like me: Pumpkin Protein Pudding!!
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Since I’m not feeling so stellar, I was grateful to know this would be super easy. I’ve made many versions of this before and strongly encourage you to play around! For this version, I didn’t have any fresh “milk” on hand, so I made a quick hemp milk as the starter. Combine the rest of the ingredients, and you’re on your way to energy and protein-packed pumpkin goodness. Top it with your favorite nuts and seeds or dried fruit, and it makes the best fall breakfast. For a dessert version, amp up the maple syrup drizzle or add more to the batch, and top with shredded coconut or cacao.

In post-pudding glee,
Hannah

Pumpkin Protein Pudding
1 Cup Water
½ Cup Organic Pumpkin (cooked or canned)
⅓ Cup Chia Seeds
¼ Cup Hemp Seeds*
1 Tbsp Coconut Butter
1 Tsp Maple Syrup, plus more to drizzle
½ Tsp Vanilla Extract
½ Tsp Pumpkin Spice

1. Using a high-speed or immersion blender, combine water and hemp seeds. Add pumpkin, coconut butter, maple syrup, vanilla and pumpkin spice. Blend until smooth.
2. Pour mixture into bowl and slowly stir in chia seeds.
3. Refrigerate until thick, about 15 minutes.
* 1 cup of any non-dairy milk can be used in place of water and hemp seeds. If mixture is too thick, add more non-dairy milk. If it doesn’t thicken to your likening, add more chia seeds 1 tbsp at a time.
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