It dawned on me last night just how much I am like my Poppop. I never fully realized it until, in the hours after his passing, I sat there with my family just wishing it were me and him. I could always sit with Poppop in silence, not a trait that comes easily to anyone else in my loud family. I always admired how, amidst the mayhem of story-telling and opinions flying like pigs, Poppop could just sit there and listen. And when he did have something to share, it was immensely important.

Poppop was a genius, the kind that let his instincts dictate his work, as opposed to having an exclusively intellectual drive. What I mean by that is that he knew what needed to be done, and he did it. It was the only way he knew how to raise 10 kids. He worked his ass off.

The truth is that I, like my Poppop, was working hard to get through it all. I never knew what a drive I had until this last day of a long work stretch, when I wanted to just push through it and pretend everything was okay. I’m so glad I reprioritized my life once I really understood the plight of his condition.

I sat by his side at 1am on Saturday, sharing his sentiment: a desire for silence. I held his hand and cried by his side, hoping that in some weird way he could hear what I was saying to him in my head. The room spun and I needed him to myself. Finally, after about 45 minutes of not knowing how to ask for such time, my mom suggested to my 8 aunts and uncles that I be left alone with my granddad.

I told him I wished we could have gone running together, and that I would miss him terribly. After my father passed away, when I was 5, I would spend hours at a time by his side in his home office, just writing on notepads and wishing that someday I could be a businessman like him. I shared his passion for words and languages, beautiful penmanship and art, and a palate for ethnic food like no one I’ve ever known. I, too, am gentle until I’m crotchity, feel certain that I always know best, and have a hard time giving compliments. I get these things from my Poppop. I will always cherish these beloved traits that both endear and deter those around me.

After hours of eating and drinking wine with the family, last night, I retreated to the back bedroom and proceeded to allow myself to cry. I’ve always been a sympathy cryer, but this was a moment I needed alone. Finally, my mom came and held me. She, too, understood the weight of his loss, her father. We both knew it was time for us to leave.

I said all of my goodbyes, being careful to lag behind my mother so that I could complete one final task. If there’s something my grandfather taught me, his Hannah Banana, it’s to enjoy a good scotch. I quickly reached into his liquor cabinet, and stole his last set of Brandy mini-bottles, and the drop of Dewars that remained.

Today I made these cookies to commemorate my dear Poppop. And enjoyed a sip of VSOP in his honor.

To Poppop, with love.

Hannah Banana

Soft-baked Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 Cup + 2 tbsp White Whole Wheat Flour
1/4 Cup Oats
1/2 Tsp Baking Soda
1/2 Tsp Salt
1/4 Cup Coconut Oil, melted
3/4 Cup Coconut Palm Sugar
1 very ripe Banana
1 1/2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Cup Vegan Chocolate Chips

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Combine flour, oats, and baking soda in a bowl.
3. In a separate bowl, mash banana with oil and sugar. Add salt and vanilla extract.
4. Pour wet ingredients into dry, and stir until just combined. Add chocolate chips and stir.
5. Drop by heaping teaspoon onto a baking stone. Bake each batch for 8 minutes. Allow to cool for 1 minute before removing from pan.

Enjoy, with a loud "mmmmmm" just like Poppop did. Follow with a sip of scotch on the rocks.

While Spring may technically be just around the corner, it’s been alive in my heart for weeks. How else is one to get through slushy cold sleet and days of cloud cover without going stir crazy? I have pounced on every opportunity to lay in the sunshine, wear bright colors, and eat ripe fruit. Oh, it’s coming, folks. We’ve all summoned it.

Seasonal change invites new “clothing,” whether it kickstarts your running habit or forces you to put away the cozy scarf. This week, I was simply in the mood to change the color palette on my plate, when this salad came to mind.

As much as I love warm, roasted tahini veggies (that, yes, I have eaten 10 times), I bought some blackberries that just begged to reclaim my tahini addiction in the form of a new dressing. A splash of good balsamic vinegar enriches the flavor, and perfectly compliments the berries.

I also make a point each week at the grocery store to purchase a fruit or vegetable that I haven’t used in a while, if ever. If I have no idea how to use it, even better. This week: radishes. I didn’t do anything fancy with these bright red pearls. I shaved them thin and put them atop baby kale, along with sliced strawberries, hemp seeds, and sunflower seeds. Next time I’ll also add avocado and peas.

Yet, as-is, this combo got my taste buds ready for Spring without too readily ditching the warmth we’ve all needed for the cold. This would also make a great mock-chicken or pasta salad dressing. I hope you enjoy!

To Spring,
Hannah Joy

Blackberry Balsamic Dressing
1 Cup Blackberries, the more ripe the better!
2 Dates, pitted
¼ Cup Water, plus a splash
¼ Cup Olive Oil
2 tbsp Tahini
1 tsp Balsamic Vinegar
S & P, to taste

Combine all ingredients except oil in a food processor, or using an immersion blender, until well combined. Whisk in oil. Enjoy!

I’ll never forget the days after my father passed away, shortly after I turned 5 and just before my brother turned 7. Despite the heartache of having lost a parent, those days came to encompass some of my most fond memories of bonding, of family, of food, and of simplicity. I spent many afternoons with my grandmother. Long before my days of veganism (and seemingly before the word ever hit a shelf in Charlotte), Nana and I would cuddle up with a plate of blue cheese and melba toast, and proceed to watch Murder She Wrote.

Nana would fall asleep. I’d eat all the cheese.

Meanwhile, my mother worked her butt off. Yet she never let her family ideals slip through the cracks, making certain we always sat at the table to eat together, no matter how hard of a day at work she had or how much homework awaited us. Despite the turmoil in our lives and most prominently our hearts, mom had a beautiful way of making it all seem so simple.

This simplicity is something I’m striving more and more to achieve every day. While I’ve always had a knack for appreciating simplicity, I’ve never been great at creating it. I like to over-think, over-complicate, and thereby de-simplify my life every chance I get. So one might be able to imagine why I so appreciate the little things my mom did when I was growing up that kept our life simple.

A great example is how we often ended our evenings. We would eat dinner early, part ways to do homework, and often reconvene in the living room for some good old syndicated television and, my favorite part, a bowl of mom’s popcorn. I don’t know how she reached the point of insisting on making it from scratch, but I do know that she made it look so easy. It was always perfect.

So to this day, I’m a homemade popcorn gal. Of course, I keep it “simple,” but in my favorite way - with a twist. In my recent years, I’ve never been able to settle on just buttered [read: Earth Balanced] and salted popcorn. No, I tend toward honey-cayenne (I’m still using up my honey from my pre-vegan days) and a lot of experimenting. Think: coconut oil and black pepper, olive oil and oregano. And most recently, Sweet Basil.

I went to the Holiday Gala for The Humane League Charlotte Chapter last weekend, and donated three huge bowls of this stuff. I thought it was kind of a weird concoction at first, but the feedback I received was unrelentingly positive. So of course I had to share it here with you.

I hope you thoroughly enjoy this!

To your Winter evenings spent on the couch,

Hannah

Sweet Basil Popcorn

4 cups organic plain popcorn
(I cook mine on the stove using coconut oil!
Cook according to packaged kernel directions.)
1 tablespoon vegan Earth Balance
1 tablespoon organic brown rice syrup
¼ cup basil, finely chopped
dash of salt

1. Melt Earth Balance over medium heat on stove.
2. Add brown rice syrup and basil to hot pan. Swirl to combine.
3. Remove pan from heat as soon as syrup begins to bubble.
4. Pour mixture over popcorn and stir/toss together immediately.
5. Sprinkle with salt.
Enjoy!